Life. keep(s) on running.
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“Go after her. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them...”
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“This is love, she thought, isn’t it? When you notice someone’s absence and hate that absence more than anything? More, even, than you love his...”
fck. i can’t miss him. fck fck fck.
but… it’s going to be two weekends since i’ve seen him… after having seen you every week consistently for like… 12 wks now.
fck. i miss him & the small things he says. fuuuuuuccck.
sigh. *angry* no no no, bad.
my favoritest thing in the WORLD to do:
The Holstee Manifesto: Lifecycle Video (by holsteeTV)
There is no perfect father (by dreamerofavalice)
(via searchingforahome)
Places where I’ll go one day in NY
Whatever your situation may be, always make sure your children receive a proper education. - Imgur
Everywhere I go, there’s a void by my side;
An empty space of a shadow
Of where you used to reside.
Sometimes my hand subconsciously grasps for your warmth,
Then I remember you’re no longer my righthand,
You’re now some other girl’s hearth.
Our love burns like the summer sun;
Warm, comforting, ideal, fun.
It began unexpectedly,
our thoughts and bodies intertwined
as if it had always meant to be.
Unpredictable in individual actions,
we loved with private passion.
We were partners in crime
without regards to time,
Like a sloth to a tree
were you and me.
Then I had to ask,
If you loved me in the summer, will you love me in the fall?
Then you asked for my love,
I’m sorry I’d only admit to liking you, I couldn’t put down that wall.
I’m sorry that our pride would not admit
that you and I could have had it all.
I had seen your kindness and all you had in store,
I can’t love you until you’ve shown your true potential,
which is so much more.
I thought if stopped before season’s end,
I could salvage the glowing embers for us to go back to close friends.
I wanted to save us from the burning love we had caused.
I know you retorted,
why not just put everything on pause.
I was scared to lose you, so I thought better to choose now than too late,
Whether we give it our all,
Or nothing and let the relationship abate.
For our salvation, this was a decision that couldn’t just wait.
I didn’t want to continue to wing it living in the gray,
This was my way of prolonging your stay.
Sadly, my efforts were to no avail,
As I now helplessly watch our ship sail.
My love, once given, permanently stays,
Whether as lovers or friends,
I’d love you always.
However, aloofness is your proud mainstay,
And baby, that has lead even our friendship astray.
Your honey-coated words and promises I tried to believe,
But actions before words, I need to see you achieve.
I am a dignified lady with no option but to leave.
You told me to trust you, let you be the man and lead,
that you were raised to keep your words,
that you’re better than the bastard before indeed,
that you couldn’t imagine your future without me.
However, I hate sweet words that defy what I see,
I have given us all my efforts, and you’ve heard my plea,
And now I set any hopes for you free.
You have abandoned me,
and thus I have to give you up.
Before my wounded pride might erupt.
Love is a permanence of a shard,
And you’ve already a piece of my heart.
So I’ll miss you every minute of everyday,
it’s an absence that won’t just go away.
But I am strong.
I woke up, and can still go on.
(via these-intricacies)
You can expect spending a lot of days in bed and ignoring people’s phone calls. I’m really into going off the grid and getting high on each other for nine hours. Has anyone noticed that when you spend all day in bed with a lover, it feels like a drug binge? You’re just addicted to touching their body and you feel like time is standing still. Before you know it, the day is gone and all you’ve accomplished is each other. You spent the day laying in bed naked watching people go by on the street who weren’t in love and doing errands and “making the most of their day”. You’re glad you aren’t them. You’re glad to do nothing.
You can expect a lot of sass, a lot of me pushing you away to see if you’ll come back. I love someone who can push back. It makes me believe that you’re strong and powerful and can do something like build a fire just by conjuring heat with your body. It makes me think that you can do great things and not take anyone’s crap and stick by me even when I’m being a total asshole. We all have habits in relationships that we don’t like and wish we could change. Some are negotiable and some stick like glue. This stuff falls in the latter category.
You can expect a lot of love from me, which is a hard thing to get. But once it’s in your possession, it’s done. Over. I’m screwed. Not today and not tomorrow but someday when it all falls apart. You will have the most intense power over me. You can make me laugh, cry, scream, dance, throw things, whimper etc. It’s like my emotions are a puppet and you’re pulling a string. You know this, I know this, but no one talks about it. No one talks about the awful things someone you love can do to you.
I’m not being defeatist or meaning to paint a bleak picture of relationships. I guess I’m just constantly drawn to the two extremes—how “I love you and want to protect you” can one day turn into “I want to destroy you.” This isn’t always how it works though. Sometimes relationships just naturally fade away. No one is destroyed and the damage is light. And sometimes relationships never end and you marry someone and grow old together and watch each other die. You feel content in knowing that you built your life with someone else. At 25, I can’t fathom that type of love but I want it. Just like you do.
I’m referring here to the relationships that can wreck you. You can expect these things when I fall in love you but what can you expect when we fall out of love?
Great word, you know, a little over used these days. But still- how can you not love a word with two “w’s” ?
Most think it’s just a cute thing, a little thing, those moments that make you think, “fuck me”.
Well I am, I am uncoordinated, I am nerdy, a clumsy intellectual -and have been all my life. You never saw me on the basketball court, or soccer fields. I’d have been crashing into people, and tripping over my own feet. I am never more clumsy than when in love, as well. Reckless, abandoned to the emotions in my mind. Wishing, and fishing, and wondering all the while, how grace escaped me.
I fall, a lot, and I walk in to walls, literally. I am usually so deep in thought, the world around me is just a distant interruption to the world inside my head. I focus, so hard sometimes, reality is hard to decipher amidst the clamour.
So, yeah, I’m clumsy, stumbling, tripping, and falling over my own feet,
my heart,
my thoughts,
and you.
